Flags
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I could use a little sunshine. It’s been an unusually dismal fall with lots of drizzle and cloudy skies. The foliage was a wash. It never got bright or crisp enough on the handful of days that would have been considered “peak.” Now all that’s left on the trees are dingy yellow, muted red and for the most part, dirty brown leaves. I think Mother Nature is disgusted, and I don’t blame her.
I haven’t taken a technically good picture in over a year now and I’m beginning to wonder if this blog is worth the time I spend on it. Please understand this is not my way of trying to attract sympathy or have a pity party, it’s an honest question I feel I must ask myself. Yesterday as I dialed the eye doctor to make an unscheduled appointment for a problem that’s come up, I actually contemplated selling my photography gear. I guess I’ve lost a bit of hope. Lately I’ve been wondering if I’ll know when or if it’s time to throw in the towel? When it comes to waving the white flag I’ve been known to be a little slow on the uptake, but really, how long do I wait while everyone pretends that eventually I’ll have enough vision to get back to where I was two years ago? I dunno. It’s beginning to feel a bit futile and I have a lot of money tied up in equipment .. equipment that requires a good PAIR of eyes to use.
CurTales 
Sounds like a ‘Dark night of the Soul’ time… I hear you, I dont underestimate eyes one bit. And I say this after an art career spanning 35 years: I think being an artist isnt always about the product so much as the perception of life and living it. Take a breath and talk to the cattle dogs about it. They have a thing or two to say about being relentless. Take care, your vision is still there, even if the eyes are struggling.
October 24, 2012 at 9:05 AM
You are right, Anna. A dark night … or three. Thank you for taking the time to encourage me, for “seeing” what I can’t see in myself right now.
October 26, 2012 at 7:27 AM
Don’t give up yet…
October 24, 2012 at 12:39 PM
I’m trying not to! I do feel at times like the odds are against me though. The day I’m supposed to be evaluated for new lenses is the predicted day for our next weather event. Can’t anything ever just be easy anymore?
October 26, 2012 at 7:30 AM
Hope for the spring. I don’t know a lot about your situation, but I hope that you can hold on. The sun rises again and beauty will find you, perhaps in unexpected ways. Celebrate when you can, and hang in there when you can’t.
October 24, 2012 at 7:34 PM
Thank you. Of course, you are right!
October 26, 2012 at 7:30 AM
For some time, you’ve been offering up more than just pictures that are technically ‘good.’ I mentioned only a comment or two ago how impressed I was with your eye (at the time not knowing what a difficult journey you’ve been on with regard to your vision), and marvel how you’re able to communicate who you are in your work. I look at the pictures I take with my fancy-pants camera (and as I think you know, you inspired me to upgrade!), and what I see are, well, pictures. Often, yours go beyond that, as annablakeblog more eloquently points out. And the attached narrative you sometimes offer could stand on its own – but I rather doubt we’d get to enjoy it if not for the pictures that inspire you to write them. I’m a sucker for someone with a way with words, and you have a way with words. I’m suspect you’ll make the decision that’s best for you, but from a selfish standpoint, I hope you are able to find a way to carry on…
October 24, 2012 at 9:44 PM
Thanks Marc. I miss taking pictures, but even more than that I miss the almost constant looking around and “seeing” the beauty in things around me. I can’t see details or the subtly in different light and I KNOW I’m missing it because sometimes I can feel the light on my face and I know it’s the right time of the day to be shooting, but I just can’t “see” the photo. (Hard to explain.) As for writing .. well … it’s beyond challenging now. Doable, but enormously tedious and time-consuming. It’s amazing how poor vision can whittle your world down to size! But thanks for hanging in there with me and taking the time to encourage a fellow enthusiast to press on!
October 26, 2012 at 7:39 AM
Speaking of words, I thought I’d re-read my post and caught typos but obviously missed my typo in the last sentence. Please understand what I meant to write was: “I suspect you’ll make the decision that’s best for you…” meaning, in fact, that I’m sure you will. Not that I’m suspect you will. Sheesh! This language of ours is real pisser, aint it?
October 24, 2012 at 9:50 PM
Well that’s the beauty of being blind …. you don’t see the typos …. not yours, not mine … not anyone’s! LOL! But yeah, this language is a challenge! 😉
October 26, 2012 at 7:40 AM
I still enjoy your photos and I really love the posts that go with them. I hope your eyes get fixed up for you.
October 25, 2012 at 11:24 AM
Thanks Rhonda … I know you know …. 🙂
October 26, 2012 at 7:41 AM
I certainly understand about blog as time sink. My vote would be to take a break from that if you need to but don’t sell the photo equipment. The former decision is far more reversible than the latter. So easy to sort out other people’s lives ….
October 26, 2012 at 5:31 PM
Yes, always much easier to see the forest from the trees when it’s not you who is lost! I thought of you today as I had my second ride in many, many weeks. If it makes you feel any better, the mare was beyond a tad spooky and it had me thinking about solutions and alternatives to that conundrum too. *Sigh* My mother always used to say, “It’s a great life … if we don’t weaken!”
October 26, 2012 at 6:51 PM