Christmas Wish List
I was catching up on a bunch of horsey (mule, etc, etc, etc) blogs when I ran across this amusing entry. Very funny stuff and reading it made me start thinking about making a wish-list of my own. Here are a few of my most recent additions:
Spouse & Animal Mind Meld: The ability to tap into their brains because I have NO CLUE what the heck they’re thinking most the time!
Fingertip Point & Mute: Especially handy for the Cattle Dog Shriek.
Personal Hover Fan: It goes where you go … because menopause sucks. Still.
Cattle Prod Bumpers: Need I explain?
Saddle Horn Delete: Hit the horn cap, it deletes your last miscue.
Call slapping: You can reach through the phone and slap the telemarketer who interrupted your dinner to take a poll.
Chia Groceries: All you do is add water and they magically appear and prepare themselves.
Grocery Cart Horn & Front End Loader: The horn because it’s not common knowledge that isles are traffic lanes, and the front end loader to push all those isle-blocking displays and shoppers elsewhere.
And while I’m on the Grocery Theme List:
Nerf Deli Bats: Because apparently taking a number and waiting your turn isn’t for everyone. Now if we got a bat with that number … ’nuff said!
Fluorescent Exact-O Knives: Some days it takes longer to find the Exact-O knife than it takes to feed the horses. (Most days) I think the FAA would approve!
Vapor Lock Saddle Switch: For those times when your horse is too hot to handle. Mid-buck just flip that switch on and shut ‘er down for a few!
Visor Wikipedia for Rednecks & Cowboys: Wait, I have the answer to that … just let me consult my hat.
Automated Tack Cleaner: Place your dirty tack on the rack and let ‘er rip!
Stupid Vault: Better than a safe room; it’s where all the dumb stuff you’ve ever said and done gets filed.
Universal Sizes for Pet Food: For the mathematically challenged. It’s bad enough that you’re raping us, this shouldn’t have to be rocket science too!
Call Dropping: You can automatically “drop” any phone call mid-sentence. Oh wait, we already have that. It’s called a Cell Phone.
What’s on your Christmas Wish List?